Genre:
Autobiography, memoir, women's voices
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Blurb
The moving, gripping, and tell–all autobiography of Traci Elizabeth Lords, a former child porn queen, electronica maven, and cult movie and TV star.
At 14, Nora Kuzma ran away from home and ended up on the dirty streets of Hollywood. She fell in with a fast crowd, and her dreams of modelling soon landed her a spectacular centrefold in Penthouse Magazine, where at 15 she became internationally known as TRACI LORDS. From there she appeared in numerous adult films and magazines, denying her past and battling a deep addiction to cocaine and men. Three years later she got out. This is her memoir–a tale of loss, redemption, and ultimate survival as Traci Elizabeth Lords takes you into her secretive past, faces her demons, and shares her extraordinary journey of personal growth.
Ornery Owl's Review
Four out of Five Stars
Traci is a sweetheart. I couldn't help wanting to hug the wounded little girl inside her. She grew up in poverty with three sisters. Her father abused her mother. She was bullied by other children in her neighborhood and at ten years old was sexually assaulted by an older boy whom she trusted.
As a young teen, Traci woke up to her stepfather molesting her. Her band teacher made a pass at her. At fifteen, she was abandoned by her boyfriend after he got her pregnant. She had nobody to turn to except for the same man who had molested her while she slept. She was alone and confused with no support from anyone while undergoing an abortion.
A desire to break free from her abusive and deprived past sparked Traci's journey into the adult film industry while still underaged. As Traci says:
I was leaving Nora Kuzma behind for good. She was the one who had been raped, used, and abused—and I didn’t want to be her anymore.
Traci started by posing for racy pictures. Her stepfather accompanied her to the photo shoots, leering at her. After a while, her agent told her she would have to do hardcore work or he couldn't find jobs for her. As she was now supporting herself and the abusive boyfriend she'd gotten involved with in order to escape her stepfather, she agreed. As Traci says of this time:
I’d posed for every magazine on the rack by now, and the business was all about new meat. I pictured myself lying in the butcher’s case at the supermarket, the plastic wrap covering my body and a red “Reduced for Sale” sign on my forehead.
Still, I couldn’t stop myself. I was in way too deep and couldn’t possibly turn back now. I had North to answer to, Sonny to feed, and my unrelenting hunger for approval to satisfy. Besides, now I was a star.
Sex became like this price I eventually had to pay for any measure of love I was going to receive, and that was just the way things were.
People tend to harshly judge girls and women who behave promiscuously or even women who pose for provocative or racy pictures, regardless of whether or not they behave promiscuously. Girls and women who exhibit hypersexual behavior are nearly always victims of trauma. As Traci says about going into therapy:
I was told I wasn’t a sex-crazed freak but an abused child, and that was very hard for me to accept. I didn’t want that title.
I condemned myself, and it took me years in therapy before I finally began to see that I wasn’t the only one who was guilty of abusing me.
There are those who say that we live in a post-feminist world. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I call bullshit on that noise. In a world where universities literally allow recruiters to promote Only Fans as a legitimate way for female students to earn money for tuition, Traci's experiences serve as a cautionary tale. All too often, women and girls are still treated as sex objects rather than human beings.
The First Line/Book Beginnings
I grew up in a dirty little steel town called Steubenville, in eastern Ohio.
The Friday 56
Although John encouraged cast bonding, he grew suspicious of our late-night prowling and sent around a memo warning that the hotel disapproved of underage drinking and mischief after dark.
Book Blogger Hop
4th - 10th - Have you been listening to virtual author events? (submitted by Elizabeth @ Silver's Reviews)
Nope.
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