What do you do when your dad tells you he’s married the woman he had an affair with? Go out and get drunk.
At least, that’s my plan until the cute guy behind the bar chats me up. One thing leads to another, and we end up in bed together, only for me to discover he’s the last person on earth I should be fooling around with.
The problem? I can’t keep away, even though I know I should.
The more time I spend with Archer, the deeper I fall for him.
But when everyone around us will judge us for being together, can I be brave enough to admit he’s the best wrong thing to ever happen to me?
Best Wrong Thing is a one-night stand-to-lovers forbidden romance, with an age gap relationship, a strained holiday, and parents behaving badly.
Excerpt
“I guess your sorrows aren’t that bad,” Archer says once the rush dies.
“Why?”
He nods at my beer, which is three-quarters full. I’m doing a piss-poor job of getting drunk. “You haven’t drowned them yet.”
“Maybe I’m debating other ways to forget my woes.” Shut up.
He rests his forearms on the counter. “Oh?”
I shake my head. “Forget I said anything.”
“What if I don’t want to forget you said anything?”
Is he flirting with me? Am I flirting with him?
“What if I want to help cheer you up?”
Oh, fuck. I lean forward. “How would you do that?”
He chuckles. “You tell me. Have a think and let me know. I need to serve a customer.” He walks backwards towards the waiting customer, gives me a wink, and turns to give the woman his undivided attention.
I fan myself. Would he be flirting with me if he cared I’m older than him?
As he serves customers with an easy smile and brisk conversation, I trace shapes in the condensation on the glass. I’m no longer interested in drinking myself into oblivion. Besides, by this point, my beer is probably so warm it’s unpalatable.
“And here we are again.” He grabs a cloth and wipes the spotless counter.
I smile. “I haven’t moved. You’re the one who keeps coming and going.”
“Right? Work is such a bore.”
“You don’t enjoy it.”
“Oh, I love it. I get to meet lots of interesting people. Sometimes I even get to meet handsome men.”
My pulse spikes.
He walks his fingers over the bar and taps it beside my resting hand. “You were going to think of ways I could help cheer you up tonight. Have you come up with anything?”
“We could get out of here when you finish work.” I’m really doing this. I’m hitting on a barman. And why not? He can always say no.
“For sex?”
His question is so casual my brain stutters.
“It’s a good distraction.” He grazes his fingers over mine.
“You want to have sex with me?” Smooth, Jacob. Smooth. It’s been a while since I’ve chatted up anyone. Hook-up apps get rid of the need for it.
His smile pops dimples in his cheeks. “Definitely.”
I undo the top button of my shirt. “Aren’t I—?”
“What?”
“Too old?”
He laughs. “How old are you?”
I open my mouth.
He holds his hand up, palm facing me. “Let me guess. Thirty-two?”
“Close.”
“Higher or lower?”
“Higher.”
“Not much higher. Thirty-four.”
I point my finger at the ceiling.
“Thirty-five?” He raises his brows.
“Yes.”
“That’s a good age. Thirty-five is mature and experienced. Men get better with age.”
My pulse races. “Like red wine?”
He hums. “Exactly like red wine.”
I tug my collar away from my neck. Has it got hot in here?
“I get off in an hour.”
“So early?”
“I’ve been on shift since midday when the bar opened. Do me a favour.”
“What?”
“Don’t finish your drinks. I don’t sleep with drunk guys.”
About the Author
Colette’s personal love story began at university, where she met her future husband. An evening of flirting, in the shadow of Lancaster castle, eventually led to a fairytale wedding. She’s enjoying her own ‘happy ever after’ in the north of England with her husband, two beautiful children and her writing.
Coming of age inside the controversial world of the Spartacus Gay Guide
Blurb
It is 1981. Jaap, a Dutch teenager, is a boy taking his first steps towards becoming a man. He’s reclusive, a wallflower with a handsome face and curly blond hair. He loves playing tennis and plays drums for a student rock band.
He is attracted to men and afraid of desires that he has not acted upon. By fortuitous accident, the Dutch teen meets Briton John D. Stamford, and his life changes. Stamford is the eccentric middle-aged editor of Spartacus International Gay Guide, the crucial book for gay male travelers. It listed both welcoming destinations and countries that carried strict penalties for homosexuality.
Jaap likes mature men; John prefers youths. BOY ONEis the record of their relationship, the deluxe global travel they did for John’s work, the eye-opening experiences of a sheltered teen, and the obsessive sexual relationship that developed.
Amid the glamor of five-star hotels and restaurants, conflicts arise. Jaap still thinks about having a girlfriend and wonders if he is bisexual. John is trying to push his young lover into something he’s not ready for—being openly gay all the time. Moreover, Jaap notices the Spartacus Guide lists opportunities for sex with underaged youths in places like Thailand. He suspects this is wrong. So do the police, who begin investigating John.
Despite the excitement and eroticism of their relationship, the moral issues grow until the two are at odds.
In BOY ONE, Jaap Cové tells the honest and gripping story of a remarkable part of his life. Revealing and outspoken, it is a unique, colorful and compelling coming-of-age story. It captures the excitement of international gay life in the early 80s, but it is also a troubling saga about morality and intergenerational relationships.
NOTE: THIS EXCERPT CONTAINS MATERIAL SUITABLE FOR ADULT READERS ONLY.
Excerpt
John picks me up at the airport with a taxi. We drop my bag in the RV that’s parked just outside Basel’s old center, but don’t stay there. John has other plans. I’m in for a romantic weekend. It’s snowy and below freezing point. I never expected the city to be so beautiful, or is it because we’re together again? We lunch in an upscale Konditorei, then walk arm in arm past the historical buildings in the old center. People on the pavement glare at us, but John doesn’t let go of my arm. It feels warm and safe. We visit the Gothic church and head to the quay of the river Rhine, where we kiss. There are people watching, which makes it more exciting. Protected by John, I don’t feel any embarrassment. I exist in a constant state of being crazy in love.
He takes me to my first gay sauna in the old town to warm up. As we enter a dimly-lit steam room, I lose John in the mist. In no time, there are many hands all over my body, touching my ass, my cock and my torso. I am scared.
As I adjust to the light, I look into the faces of the young men groping me and start to panic. I want to break free, but they won’t let me. Someone shoves his tongue between my lips. I wriggle to get away from the mass of bodies. Just as I reach the point of using force, I feel a hand pull me from the crowd. John pulls me close and embraces me. He smiles and tries to calm me.
‘You didn’t like that?’ he asks.
‘No, I panicked.’
‘Come, let’s get out of here.’
He takes me to a private room where we make love on a rubber bed covered with towels. Our session isn’t long and elaborate as it would have been in the RV. It turns me on just the same. I’m quickly positioned on my belly by his big hands, feeling the cold KY-jelly on my ass, after which he carefully pushes his warm cock inside. Pleasing John, giving my lover what he wants, in the way he wants it, excites me. I become hard as a rock. This man owns me when we make love.
Downstairs in the bar area later, we have a drink. I play with the thought that John planned the episode in the steam room. At the same time, the thought is ridiculous. I can’t imagine him telling all those guys that his lover from Holland would be visiting, and asking them to give me a warm welcome.
‘It was almost like they were waiting for me,’ I say. ‘All those hands on me.’
‘Why is that strange? Have you looked in the mirror lately?’
‘Huh?’
‘You’re very handsome, Jake. You’re a fucking knockout.’
I don’t know what to say, since no one ever told me that. I know I’m not ugly, but a knockout? I’m tall and slender, not muscled. And I’ve always been on the shy side, not confident about my looks. All my life people have told me that my blond curls are beautiful. But women couldn’t keep their hands off my hair when I was a young boy and I didn’t enjoy that.
‘And you have such a hot ass,’ he adds with a big smile. Then he kisses me.
As I take a sip of my drink, I think about how my life has changed. In less than three months, I have made the metamorphosis from Dordrecht wallflower to Basel knockout. My self-esteem balloons.
But something is gnawing at me.
‘So when you’re here on your own, I suppose those hands are on you, too, right?’
‘Why do you ask?’
‘I don’t like that thought.’
‘No, that doesn’t happen to me. I’m getting too old, Jake. Older gay people are less appealing in this world. You’ll find out.’
‘I find that hard to believe. When you walk around here naked, people look.’
‘I’m glad you think so.’ He smiles and looks past me, like he’s checking out the other guys. ‘But to answer your real question, yes, I do play around when I’m on my own.’
‘What… you mean, you still do, even though we’re lovers?’
‘Yes.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Remember that black kid we met in a bar in Nice on our last evening? I fucked him soon after you left.’
That’s a sudden bucket of ice water. I put down my drink and sit frozen. I want to go home. Now.
John continues sipping his drink. ‘It’s all right, Jake; it meant nothing. I love you.’
Free use image from Open Clipart Vectors
Ornery Owl's Review
Rating: Five out of Five Stars
This superbly written memoir reveals an important piece of gay history unknown to younger generations and perhaps forgotten to some of us more mature folks. Jaap Cove reveals in unflinching detail what it was like to be gay during an era when homosexuality was not as widely accepted as it later became in Western society.
In many places, homosexual activity was literally illegal. Even if it wasn't outright illegal, it was frowned upon. Growing up in a homophobic environment, Jaap Cove believed something was wrong with him. Still, he couldn't overcome his attraction to men. When fate led him to connect with John Stamford, the publisher of the Spartacus Gay Guide, his life changed forever.
Nineteen-year-old Jaap began a clandestine affair with Stamford, assisting him with the publication of Spartacus. The picture shown on the cover of the memoir once appeared on the cover of the guide. Although the relationship between Jaap and John might raise eyebrows due to John being nearly twice Jaap's age, both men were legally adults.
The Spartacus Gay Guide was invaluable in helping many gay men find places to connect safely with their like-minded fellows, enjoying vacations and celebrations. Unfortunately, as Jaap discovered, the publication and its founder had a dark side. Jaap's relationship with John was shaken when he learned the Guide featured certain venues that catered to men taking advantage of trafficked children and youth. The affair crumbled when he learned about John's own checkered past.
Jaap's account is forthright and unflinching. It is both a look into the history of gay men fighting for their rights to be treated equally under the law and a look into the mind and heart of a young gay man growing up in a homophobic society without any real support or guidance. There is also an element of the cautionary tale. Sometimes even the most seemingly wonderful things (such as the Spartacus Gay Guide) and exciting, worldly people (such as John Stamford) conceal darker truths. One must remain true to oneself and to higher principles, such as protecting society's vulnerable populations.
I commend Jaap Cove for sharing his story. I believe reading it could truly be beneficial for a vulnerable young gay man who might find himself in a similar position of self-doubt and self-denial. I highly recommend the book to readers of any sexual orientation. We can all learn something from this author.
Because of the adult subject matter contained in the text, the book is not suitable for children. Personally, I feel older teenagers, especially gay male teens, should read it. The information contained in the story could benefit them, helping them learn to accept themselves and to spot predatory men seeking to take advantage of an adolescent boy mired in self doubt: a prime target for flattery from an older man with less-than-honorable intent.
About the Author
Jaap Cové (1962) studied anthropology and debuted in 2011 with his novel Walking Among Us, followed by Cajú (2012) and The Girl in the Web (2017). Dog Gone (2023) was his first nonfiction narrative. Boy One is his first memoir.
From my website:
Jaap Cové is an anthropologist, a drummer, a flautist, a globetrotter, and an author of fiction and nonfiction. His novels are filled with mystery, spirituality, symbolism and music. His nonfiction is a reflection of his eventful life.
