April 2 question - What fantasy character would you like to fight, go on a quest with, or have a beer/glass of wine with?
I found a few fabulous fantasy villains on this website.
Am I stupid or crazy enough to fight any of them?
I’m a 60-year-old disabled woman. During my working life, I held such jobs as bartender, waitress, nursing assistant, and nurse. I can’t carry heavy trays (or wounded combatants) anymore, but I could still pour drinks and help patch up the wounded.
I can use magic, you say?
Well, that’s a little better, although I must admit, I’m a rank amateur. I’d summon Nyarlathotep and his daughter Yadira to help me, except that I’d need a very compelling reason to do so, or it wouldn’t turn out nice.
Yadira and Nyarlathotep are compassionate toward those who have a real need of their services. They are trickster deities who play very nasty tricks on those who call upon them for self-serving reasons. It was April Fool’s Day yesterday, so you know they were having a field day. They may have had such a good time of it that they see no reason not to keep the party going one more day. I think I’d probably better stick to my own devices.
I don’t think I’ll piss off Saruman. Even though I’m a big hoss of a woman, those Uruk-Hai of his could easily pick me up and fling me into a pit. Also, he managed to imprison Gandalf. I don’t think I stand a chance in a fight against Saruman.
I’d best forget the whole Sauron thing as well. He’d see me coming a mile away with my weird way of walking. He’d probably hear me snuffling and sneezing too. No doubt there’s some weird pollen in Middle Earth that would set my allergies off.
Oh yeah, there’s that quest thing hanging over my head.
Walking the long walk with the Lord of the Rings boys is a little much for this old broad. Maybe I need to skip the Middle Earth thing altogether and leave that mess to the hobbitses. I’ll head for the Wizarding World and have a beer with Harry Potter. He’s a year older than my soon-to-be thirty-five-year-old son, so he can drink now.
I can help Harry, Ron, and Hermione plot a few plots and scheme a few schemes against the likes of Bellatrix Lestrange and He Who Is Not To Be Named. I can concoct half-baked ideas and bake tasty treats with the best of them. The Hogwarts gang would love me.
It’s settled, then. I’m off to the Wizarding World. I may not be the most interesting side character, but I’m all in, at least as much as someone in the shape I’m in can be. Maybe I’ll even learn a little magic along the way.
Ornery Owl Has Spoken
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Smiling. My fantasy character I would love to spend time with/quest with and for is one we never met. The Entwives.
ReplyDeleteGoing to the Harry Potter World or Middle Earth are great choices. And I saw your anthology cover. It's really pretty, and I love the colors.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to be fighting anyone at my age either. But I wouldn't have wanted to when I was younger. Fighting was never my thing. But adventure? A big time "Let's Go!"
ReplyDeleteLee