Kissing Asphalt Audiobook Review #GoddessFish

 

KISSING ASPHALT

Delicia Niami

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GENRE: Memoir

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BLURB:

Resilience isn’t inherited. It’s a hard-fought skill forged by our ability to pick up the broken pieces of our past and remake them into something new.

Meet four-year-old Delicia, a poor but carefree child who is about to have her world shattered. Along with her seven-year-old brother Nile, she is kidnapped from her Los Angeles home by her estranged father and taken to Iraq, a foreign world she has never known. This is just the beginning of a string of traumas, hardships, and assaults Delicia will endure throughout her tumultuous childhood.

Now an adult living back in California, Delicia Niami bravely recounts how she survived the unimaginable in her debut memoir. Kissing Asphalt, the first in her memoir trilogy, ResilientAF, grapples with the power of resilience, acceptance, and self-love. She revisits her terrifying past with vulnerability, compassion, and the honesty of a true survivor. Hold hands with Delicia as she faces her childhood scars and learns how to confront her fears, accept her true value and identity, and embrace her unique gifts. It’s a multi-decade roller coaster ride that is the beginning of her liberation, propelling her to live an inspired life and embrace her full human potential—a human potential she knows lives inside everyone, no matter what life has thrown at us.

For anyone who has struggled with childhood trauma, Delicia’s unflinching journey through darkness and back to light will resonate. She has decided to share her story publicly in hopes that it will serve as a guide to the many who have suffered in silence and continue to struggle against the daunting weight imposed by childhood trauma.

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Excerpt 

The minute our father, Hazim, got us onto Iraqi soil, my mother lost all her parental rights. One moment, we were happy kids playing on the lawn of our San Fernando Valley home, and in the blink of an eye, we were ripped away and taken to a country we knew nothing about. Everything was new. New culture, new rules, new language—no mother, no mother, no mother!

I think my brother understood better than I did the consequences of being in Baghdad, but he was being strong for me. He had to protect his little four-year-old sister from knowing the reality of the situation. We had been kidnapped by our father and taken to another country far, far from home.

Guest Post

What was the hardest thing about writing this book?

The entire process was quite hard actually. I began my writing journey in 2019, just after a workshop with Bessel Van der kolk, author of The Body Keeps The Score. Shortly thereafter, as we all know, COVID hit. Between dredging up daunting memories of my past, combing through old photos and the binder that I acquired from my mother after she was killed; showing every piece of paper, document, receipt phone call, message that was exchanged between my mother and father in my mother's attempt to get us back from Baghdad.

All of this culminated as I wrote during COVID, sitting alone, quarantining while severely sick with Crohn's Disease. My colon ruptured on August 5, 2020 and I was rushed to the ER. They had me on the operating table within 3 minutes, that is how emergent it was.

Amidst all that, I realized while I was writing that my life wasn't as great as I'd made it out to be in my mind. I have a knack for finding joy, even in the most dismal of things...that is why I say resilience is my superpower because I actually didn't see that I was being abused. Because you don't know what you don't know and it was my distributor that pointed out that I needed the word "abuse" in my subtitle and that had me perplexed for quite some time. That is until I read and re-read my book over and over again. 

At one point while I sat on my couch and wrote in solitude, I broke down and cried out to the sky HOW?! HOW?! How did I survive my childhood? This hit me like nothing ever had before. After writing and re-writing and editing and re-editing things become clearer.

The absolute hardest thing during the writing process was realizing that the man I looked up to as a father figure, who I idolized, and whom also was my molestor didn’t view me the same. I realized after almost forty years that this man that I put on a pedestal, and protected from harms way by not telling a soul what he was doing to me, was merely grooming me. I was just a toy to him. This was a crushing blow to my spirt and my psyche on so many levels. That was absolutely the most difficult thing of my entire writing process.

I had several aha moments while I wrote this book, most were not easy. I knew I had to work through them to come out the other side, which is exactly what my books are about. That we are all ResilientAF and that we can all make it through anything if we do the work, there is always light and joy to be found.

Free use image from Pixabay

Ornery Owl's Review

Rating: Five out of Five Stars

Why do some people who grew up in deprived and difficult circumstances succumb to despair while others overcome their past problems and thrive? This memoir may not provide a clear-cut answer to that question, but it paints a portrait of an individual who excelled despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles in her life.

Delicia Niami and her older brother Nile were the children of an American mother and an Iraqi father. When Delicia was four and Nile was seven, their father kidnapped them, taking them to Iraq for two years. Over time, Delicia came to realize how little her father valued her. Although Delicia's mother cared about her children, she had serious problems of her own. She became involved with men who abused Delicia and Nile, and she was sometimes abusive herself.

Delicia was bullied at school and spent much of her life seeking love and acceptance that she did not find at home. This search led to her being molested by predatory older men and taken advantage of in other ways.

In this memoir, Delicia tells the story of how she learned to accept herself despite life's difficulties. The book is written in a casual, conversational style. The author breaks down complex topics in ways that are easy for the average person to understand.

The overarching theme of the book is acceptance, specifically self-acceptance. Through her own story, the author illustrates the concept that everyone deserves respectful treatment. Even if others have treated one unkindly, one can cultivate positive beliefs to nourish self-respect.

Even if the day comes when every child is born into a family that truly embraces and provides well for them, stories like this will always be relevant. Growing up in poverty and experiencing trauma has profound effects that remain throughout a person's life.

I really enjoyed listening to Delicia's story. I appreciated that she didn't sugarcoat the tough parts of her life. Glossing over the uncomfortable aspects would have lessened the book's impact.

I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys memoirs and appreciates an author who doesn't hold back on telling uncomfortable truths. Because it discusses issues such as physical and sexual abuse, it is not appropriate for young or more sensitive readers. However, it can help those who have endured such things feel less alone. I would gladly add it to my top ten favorite books of the year. 

I commend the author on completing and publishing her memoir. I've been trying to write one for ten years and only have multiple aborted attempts to show for it.

AUTHOR Bio and Links:

Delicia Niami is an acclaimed memoirist and LGBTQ+ advocate, whose raw and edgy storytelling has touched the hearts of readers worldwide. Residing in Santa Cruz and an alumna of UCSC, Delicia draws inspiration from her own journey of resilience and empowerment. Through her memoirs, she fearlessly addresses topics such as sexual abuse, trauma recovery, and the importance of self-compassion. Delicia's work not only sheds light on difficult experiences but also empowers others to find their voices and embrace their own resilience. Her passion for advocacy shines through in her writing, making her a powerful voice for change and healing in today's world.

Links:

https://www.instagram.com/delicianiami_author/

https://www.facebook.com/ResilientAFMemoir

https://www.facebook.com/kissingasphalt

https://www.instagram.com/resilientaf_memoir/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4CuQnSSu4FD0nXrbsZgcG8

Audible: https://a.co/d/ayPVeKl

GooglePlay: https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details/Kissing_Asphalt_The_Courageous_True_Story_of_One_C?id=AQAAAEASC2hLaM&hl=en_GB&gl=HK

Libro: https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9781647047788-kissing-asphalt

Audiobooks Now: https://www.audiobooksnow.com/audiobook/kissing-asphalt/9622777/

Barnes & Noble - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/kissing-asphalt-delicia-niami/1144013799

Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/kissing-asphalt-the-courageous-true-story-of-one/id1737042425

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GIVEAWAY INFORMATION and RAFFLECOPTER CODE

The author will award a randomly drawn winner a signed special edition copy of the book. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway