Ornery Owl's Rating:
Three out of Five Stars
The story begins with a young woman finding something nasty in the woodshed: a murder victim stabbed to death by a pair of scissors. The next day, a farmer has a flashback to a scene of childhood molestation while milking her goat. But did this really happen? Did any of it really happen? Or was it all part and parcel of the farmer's fevered imaginings?
The unreliable narrator is one of my favorite plot devices. However, the entire narrative in this movie is unreliable.
Every man in town is either a drunken schmuck, a creepy weirdo, or a weird creepy drunk schmuck. You've got Frankie the Pervy Butcher driving to work while drinking and then hitting on the female customers. You've got Sheriff Billy Bob (I've already forgotten his actual name) who doesn't go check things out when Farmer Ingrid calls him because he's busy worshiping the porcelain god after going on a bender. He brushes her concerns off as her being a hysterical female.
If I grew up in this town, I'd either want to join a convent or start an all-female commune. With the possible exception of Deputy Eager Beaver, who isn't on screen long enough to reveal any fatal flaws in his personality, the men in this neck of the woods just suck.
Haunts won't scar you for life, but expect to be skeeved out more than once. Also, don't expect a satisfying ending that ties everything up in a neat little package or you'll end up out of sorts for sure. I doubt very much that film will end up becoming your new favorite. As our horror stream host Gary says, there's something I like about this movie, but it's a bad movie.
Free use image from Dmitry Abramov on Pixabay
“This movie is six of one and a half dozen of the other, Harry. It isn’t the worst, but it sure as shootin’ ain’t the best.”
“I think it’s more like one of the first and eleven of the second, Ornery. By the way, I think I am scarred for life after watching that mess.”
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